A long time ago I decided that I should love riding in the rain, after all this is Britain, and Western Britain at that. The geographical umbrella for the Low Countries. So whilst Belgian cyclists are renowned for enjoying the balmy continental winters, the hardy British cyclist is taking on all, meteorological, comers.

In this spirit I have spent a not small fortune on wet weather clothing, and have finally surrendered to mudguards. Having lent out my ‘winter beater’ frames, this means that the Litespeed is sporting some lovely plastic shields. A strange love for this mutant beast has come over me, to the extent that I am even enjoying non Italian componentry! This can’t last, surely?

But in fact it does! Braving the elements doubles the value of the ride, through the very virtue of just riding in such inclement conditions, as well as the refreshing of favourite rides by the seasons. Who would want sun all the time? It would deprive us of the wind proof, waterproof, breathable, well cut, stylish and fashionable opportunities that clothing designers dream of, conceptualise, and wrap in technical fabric.

I think the secret is to create a watertight double or treble layer, with overlaps between socks and leg warmers, gloves and sleeves and as many other garment interfaces as possible. When I was at university I used to gaze at the techno-onesies available at Ribble Cycles. One piece from toe to crown, suited, booted, gloved and hooded!

The dream is there for us, we just have to fit into it, and never need a natural break. This means either short rides, or the wetsuit warming technique, which may not have many benefits for the chamois.

This cycling dreamsuit seems to have disappeared, maybe into some long forgotten box in a Lancashire warehouse, so instead I’ve made the best of it. The best of it being waterproof tights, even British made, or designed at least, a toasty, dry, and reflective wonderland. These were the missing link, hat, jacket, gloves, overshoes, and now waterproof tights. Every ride is a warm embrace of clothing technology, a lifetime away from baggy wet lycra and stretched wool jerseys.

Like a boiled frog the change in warmth and damp is imperceptible. It starts with the hands, wet gloves become cold and wet on a downhill. Then the water percolates through the filter (hat) and drips down the neck, but subtly warmed by the scalp, thus more cunning in its infiltration. Before you know it the sleeves of your ‘breathable’ have puddles in the elbows, your shoes inside the overshoes are awash and your skin has a malarial clamminess. It is now imperative to keep this water warm, no stops, no punctures, no clothing removal of any sort are permitted, return home, do not pass Go and do not spend £200 on some over priced coffee. Save it instead for the next wonder cloth, the emperor’s favourite new fabric! And remember:

“A rose must remain with the sun and the rain or its lovely promise won’t come true. “ Ray Evans

Images in this article